Ginger - thanks for sharing your story with me. I can only imagine what it felt like for you to go through that stuff.
I know I need to fix me. I think I resist it because I know it's going to hurt like hell to face my demons. The last thing I want is to feel how I felt when I was 10 years old. I would rather get hit by a car than to feel that stuff all over again.
Life just seems incredibly lonely without someone to love. Someone to share your day with. Share your thoughts and fears.
It's so backwards because alot of the time, I would not share my feelings with W because I feared maybe she would lose attraction for me. I started to share with her my fear of abandonment with her during the last 10 months we were piecing. On several occasions, she told me I was "stuck" with her and that her leaving days were over. She even told me this 10 days before she left again. Deep down, I don't think I really believed her. And in the end, she left again.
