I have read your thread and in some ways it is very similar to mine. My wife is in the middle of an affair and we had very similar issues leading up to this. Over the past 6-7 weeks since our arguing had come to a head, I found this site and have been practicing a lot of 180's. My wife has noticed and she is actually getting closer to me everyday. We went from her not being in the same room as me to her texting me and working out with me. I too was in a depression for the last year and a half but this has been a huge wake up call and like you it was shock enough to snap me out of it. We haven't been intimate the last 7 months while we were fighting and we still haven't been. She has this loyalty to her AP and it is killing me. I try to remain positive and keep doing what I am doing because I focus on the small steps that she has made. All I can say is keep working on the 180 and show her the consistency of your changes. She will start to believe that she can trust that these are permanent but it will take time for both of us. Since it appears you two still have sexual relations there is still a connection between you. You realizing all the things you did wrong in the marriage regardless of what her faults were will eventually help build into a fuller connection with your W. At least that is what I believe. It is not an easy process but, like me it seems you really love your wife no matter what and you want your M to survive. I wish you the best of luck in all of this. Just keep working on yourself. It is really all we can do.
