25 yearsMLC 10 years late I FILE part 2

[25yearsmlc]

AJM

I will respond to your post more completely soon. (Sort of did in my "pearls")

"OWED" I was quoting someone else actually. But I do think if I'm really honest subconsciously I may have felt H would be happy, loyal and grateful for the love I had shown him to recon with him 10 years ago. I let go of a lot of his MLC behavior...I forgave. In hindsight, a part of me feels like the reward for turning the other cheek was getting slapped on the other cheek.

(I'm not sure I'm defending this belief, just admitting a part of me feels this way.)

Yes, I'm surprised by h's behavior. I thought he'd begin with indignation at spousal support but that his L would "splain" to him that it's a 35 year marriage and this is the law, etc. To quit this GREAT JOB just to avoid paying me...I mean, WOW...this is a workaholic MD...then again, maybe with the new OW he feels like relaxing more...

But I'll work on NOT being surprised. I have a few items in the back of my mind that I think he'll throw at me, and it'll be like mutually assured destruction. Considering that he believes I can make "easily more than he earns", now, you'd think he would not sign off on public documents that are not always easy to seal. I mean, that kind of ruins my chances of that massive income.

But why should I think that he'll think things out first? He's angry at me (yes I think that is so ironic) and anger and fear are his primary motivators now.

Actually they have been his primary motivators (seething privately and accumulating his grievances for a long time; wanting to get buy in from his peeps who know me, and to justify to whomever he expected resistance from. He can't get it from the kids b/c you know, they were there). Anyhow, as for his fears and anger motivating him now, yeah, they have motivated him a long time, but i just didn't know this.

Fast steep learning curve for me, but I'll get there. I believe the judge has seen this stuff before. I mean, let's hope. You can never really predict. But so far, so good.

YES when this "Vacation" in CA for my evaluation is done, I will take it easy for a bit. And I'll see my older kids soon, which is a gift, however feebly wrapped.