You guys aren't going to beleive this 3

[Zues126]

Just saw WAW's daughters last concert for the school year. It will probably be the last time I get to see her perform.

I can't believe W thinks it's better to uproot D all over again. I'm so pissed at W's selfishness. It's getting hard to keep grinning and playing along like everything is normal.

I really like the question "What would you do if WAW had died?"

When someone dies it doesn't mean you don't get angry. Anger is a stage of grief and we go through it on any monumental loss. But with a death, your anger isn't directed at someone specifically. It's just angry that the world works the way it does, anger at God, anger that there can be so much pain in the universe. It's just anger without target. Realize your anger now is no different, only you have a target, you can blame all of the pain and anger and hurt and everything wrong with the universe all on WAW's choice to leave the marriage.

First of all, from WAW's point of view, does that sound appealing? I can already hear her, "He did x, and y, and z, for so many years, hurt me so much, yadda yadda yadda, and none of that matters, he doesn't care at all about any of that for year after year, then suddenly he hurts for a few weeks and BOOM!, now he's upset, and everything that has ever been wrong is my fault?!? Screw that. He can blame me, I don't care, I know the truth, if he wants to make me the bad guy he can go right ahead, I know that I didn't want to do this and wouldn't have if it wasn't the only option..." Not saying I agree, but this anger at her doesn't make her feel accountable and guilty, it just makes you look crazy and reassures her that she is doing the right thing. This is assuming any of it leaks out towards her in any way, but if you are still living together it almost has to.

So how do you let go of your anger? The answer is really easy. APPRECIATION. Appreciation is like kryptonite to anger. Anger can't exist in an appreciative soul. Again, anger has a role to play, it's an emotion on your team (Have you watched Inside Out yet??? You're an introvert, fire it up bro!). But it can't take over your entire company.

The mantra that saved my life was this: If God gives me my health, my children, my family, food to eat, a job to do, friends, gifts and talents that I can bring and share with the world, music to listen to, a nice car to drive, a comfortable bed to sleep in...ALL OF THIS...and I STILL look up at the sky and say "Screw You God, without the woman and relationship I want the way I want it when I want it I think all of this is total bull$hit and you can stuff it and take it all back!"...If I was truly THAT ungrateful and miserable- well, let's face it, one screwed up woman wouldn't really make me any less of a miserable prick.

So, I get you're angry. Hear your anger. Make any adjustments to your behavior that you need to make for you. Then after you hear the anger speak, tell it that you appreciate it's contributions, but now you're going to let some other emotions talk as well. Let appreciation have a turn. And then YOU lead on. Let's go!