Kevin, all you are doing is showing WAW that you are a controlling manipulative bastard. Controlling because clearly the moment you decide you can't get what you want when you want it (her ending the affair and running back to you) you start behaving totally differently, making everything else you did or said after bomb drop an act designed to manipulate her back into the marriage. And now that tactic isn't working you are going to try to hurt her as deeply as you can for hurting you.
If she's telling her friends that you're an abusive monster and she needs to get away from you I'm afraid you're not doing much to challenge that.
Look- what's right is right. Regardless of what your WAW does. Whether or not she acts destructively or hurts you it isn't right to try to hurt her verbally or financially. Those aren't things good people do. You don't get to compare your behavior to hers to make it 'less bad' or justify it because you were only reacting to anger and she 'made you do it'. No. These are your choices, and if you choose to follow through on this I am sorry that's the example you choose to set for your children and that they have to live in the fallout that will be caused by the escalated tension.
Of course it's not too late to let that post just be you blowing off some steam and making some course corrections. Nothing wrong with being done holding out hope. But I've always believed that 'giving up on the marriage' emotionally shouldn't really result in any change in behavior. You still have a responsibility to be a good man.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
