Tread...the affair is the symptom of the issues within your marriage. Since your W is unwilling to put much effort into the relationship, it will be up to you to lead the way.
Yes^^.
You are here trying to save the m, she's not. You said in an earlier post that "neglect on both sides" or complacency was the cause...For me that is a bit vague to help you with. To me it feels like your focus is on the A and not the cause of the A. Plus, saying there was "complacency/neglect" on both sides, well, it sounds like a scorecard you have making sure you don't own too much b/c you want her to be wrong.
Hey, affairs are lousy things to do, especially when there's no remorse yet. But it also means she has justified a lot of it and that means unmet needs in her. Can you explore those more thoroughly *even if only privately*?
Oh and I have a pet peeve of thread titles that say "cheating wife wants to leave marriage."
The label of her being a "Cheating wife", makes it seem as if the affair is the reason you are here as opposed to her wanting out of the marriage.
Plus it comes off as self righteous, almost like saying "Slut wants out"
and I'm not sure how that helps you.
You said neglect is/was part of the problem in your marriage. Can you provide us with more information on the other parts of the problems? Then we might be better equipped to help.
Have you read DR? The links Cadet has provided?
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
