Did you avoid conflicts in the past, or would it be totally new behavior? Yes, it is walking on eggshells. How do you see it as being within the scope of the 37 rules?
I would say that I didn't go out of my way to avoid conflicts in the past but sometimes. I took my share of verbal beatings from her for sure. Arguing is not what she states our issues were in the marriage prior to the A. She says I never could "see" who she really is and that my actions constantly shamed her. Maybe there is some to that and I am willing to own up to it. Some of it might just be to shame me right now and hurt me. I'm more than willing to unpack her feelings though within MC but of course the A would have to end and she would need to ask me to come to reconciliation.
I think I'm trying hard on rules 19 and 21.
Quote:
19. No matter what you are feeling TODAY, only show your spouse happiness and contentment. This can confuse some of them b/c it is not what they expected. Show your spouse someone he/she would want to be around all the time, somebody that can be attractive and fun to be with. That somebody is you! Don't overkill in your attempts to outshine another person your spouse may be having an A with (if there is OP in the picture) to the point of looking like your attempts are "fake" b/c your spouse will see through all of that.
21. Never lose your cool! Don't let your spouse trap you into a fight. Don't take her/his bait.....leave the room or the house for a while, if you have to, in order to avoid a fight.
Me46 W46 M25yrs T29yrs 4 children ILYBNILWY 1/30/17 PA confronted 3/6/17 Separated same house
