WW won't separate

[resolut]

I'm not sure what you mean by taking things slow. Can you explain?

By taking things slow I mean I'm avoiding conflicts. There are plenty of things I could call her out on but I've just avoiding. I guess this is walking on eggshells but still seems to be within the scope of the 37 rules.

Part of me thinks what is the rush of starting mediation on the divorce. I could push her into it. I could file tomorrow. She says there is no hope for the marriage. My behavior drove her into the A. She's never loved me. Blah. Blah. I don't believe any of it and think she is either justifying her actions or just trying to hurt me.

So I'm living with a woman that is in an active A. She is cake eating. Short of death of a spouse or family member, it may be the worst place to be. But I'm going to continue to follow the 37 rules in hopes that her affair comes to an end in some way. I'd rather end the marriage through MC than have it be dissolved now while the affair is active. I have definitely fallen out of love with her at this point.

Also, sandi2 a lot of what you are saying applies to me. Now when my W and I have a disagreement she brings so much ammunition into the argument that is purely unnecessary. Here I have to keep DB'ing and not fall for escalating and engaging with her. When both parties agree the marriage is basically over it seems ridiculous to argue over small things doesn't it? At this point we're just on the same terms as co-workers.

My final thoughts are with my children. I'm willing to put up with this pain right now because I know the fallout of a divorce is going to be so destructive on their lives for reasons I won't go into. I'm holding on for now to see if perhaps the A will take a turn or she brings us into divorce mediation.