Thanks for the information. I agree with most of everything you said, but have something to add for people to ponder.
I think that knowing if there is an affair is part of the healing process and also needs to be known if sex is still going on within the marriage. You can bet that if the WA is having an affair on you, the last thing they care about is giving you some STD or HIV. They are too selfish and self centered to think about anything but themselves and can not see the future.
I am not saying to beg, follow, plead or anything else that may drive them further away, but there are ways to find out without the WA knowing you are on to them. I think one has to know for their own health reasons.
Kent, I agree one can choose for forgive without knowing if an Affair took place, but one never forgets. I think in order the heal and truly put it behind you, one has to know the truth, face it, deal with it, and bury it. I will liken it to an adopted child always having that wonder of who his/her real parents are. They are perfectly happy with the adopted parents, but have no closure til they find out the truth about their real parents.
Knowing the truth can bring about a healing and freedom like no other. Also, if the marriage is to survive, the details of the affair will have to come out....It is an integral part of surviving an affair....I know....I was there 4 year ago.
