Hey guys, My wife on March 28th told me the dreaded "I love you, but I'm not in love with you" since then I have been doing the typical begging pleading etc. as of about a week ago I have stopped that and did a complete 180, I have given her the space to think, and have started to work on myself. a little backstory. Early on in our marriage I had an indiscretion with my Ex wife. nothing physical happened, she messaged me inappropriate things and I fed into it. After our divorce I was hurt, lonely, etc. But realized that I never really loved her. when she messaged me it was like I had the power and wanted her to hurt as bad as I did. So I lead her on. My now wife caught me, twice at this. once with pictures. We met up on two occasions. both non sexual, simple small talk really but still not right. she did try to kiss me, lips touched but I pulled away immediately.
I thought we had worked through it as it was 5+ years ago now. but it is coming back with a vengeance.
fast forward to now. She has stated that I don't listen, after some serious hard looks at myself she is right. I have since started to let her voice her opinion and views without me giving my two cents.
I am not emotionally available, so I have started to open up to her.
I have anger issues, I get angry quickly. I am going to therapy and starting to get back on my medication (diagnosed Bi-polar)
I had found that she has been talking to a few men online sending inappropriate messages back and forth. She has since stopped this. but it was a severe setback. I found the guy and was going to message him but thought better of it.
I told her parents about her messaging other men....I know that was wrong now.
We are currently separated, and starting to communicate now. both in therapy.
At first I was taking the advice from her family, wrong thing to do as it set us back sooo many times. now I have decided to follow what my heart tells me is right, the last two days have been amazing, I was invited to dinner, we laughed, talked etc. I was allowed to stay over as well. we have even started to open up together about the issues at hand. She told the therapist that on a scale of 0-10 her want to fix the marriage was a 4, yesterday she said she raised it to a 5!
Am I holding on to false hope that this is good?
I sent her a text saying that we shouldn't communicate but for one day a week. she expressed that this was a terrible idea, so for now I am letting her be the one to instigate all conversation.
We have been married for a little over 8 years two beautiful children S-6 D-4
