Chris, I've just caught up with your sitch, and you've done some really good work, but I can completely understand where you find yourself now.
I'll be watching your 'nesting' arrangement with interest.
I'm in a slightly similar position now - I want to push for S as an in house arrangement isn't working for either of us and W is talking about dating at her Moms at weekends to get the kids used to the idea.
Getting things right for the kids in the best way they can be under the circumstances has to be the focus. I'm sure you'll find a weight taken off you when not having to deal with the anger or just plain confusing and hurtful behaviour on a near daily basis.
Keep on keeping on.
-- Me: 47 WW: 35 SS: 17 D: 5 T: 7 yrs Engaged: 2 yrs OEA confirmed: August 17 2016 ongoing since April 2016. OEA continues (with occasional breaks) BD2 - W says will visit OM in Jan 18