Help - Setting Boundaries, WW in EA - Thread #4

[Woke_Up]

Detach please.

Those are my thoughts, become an observer.

V

Yes, I see I need to focus on that. I always want off the crazy train. Or at least to be sitting up front with my hand on the brake.

So, the weekend was fine. We didn't discuss anything on Friday. Ought or all day Saturday, although things were a bit strained when I had to do a photo shoot with all of her family. I spent a lot of Saturday pissed off, same for Sunday in places, but more sad on Sunday. However, I still want to continue with selling the house. Unfortunately there is no affordable solution where one party retains the current house, we went too high on the mortgage for that.

I initiated a discussion about it last night, after D & S had gone to bed, about getting the house on the market and telling the kids.

Among other things, W reiterated that she did not like having things outside of her control (I.e my interference) and that she had to do things herself. Also that she would cut off her nose to spite her face. I validated about the control, and said I thought she probably already had cut her nose off now. After Thursday night, I just wanted to move on. She said Thursday was not normal and she was suffering withdrawals from her anxiety medication. I told her it was more likely withdrawals from her EA, however I suspected that she was now back in touch based on her ranting about her email not sending, and the fact that our Skype connections on the DNS monitor have gone back up. I didn't admit to any snooping. I also said as she wasn't denying it, I was right, and that the irony was that had she given it another couple of weeks, or months at the max, it would have got better, and now she would be making it 10x worse if it wasn't something she really wanted. She replied that she would just have to be a bitch, if she wanted to end it.

She did say she didn't want to split up - I pointed out that on Thursday she had said we were not together. She said 'we're not'. She repeated she didn't want to split up, but she thought it would be easier. She also said that she had spoken to her mother, and she could start staying there at weekends to try and get D used to the idea.

So, we progress.

While I am not done, I am done enough that I will not continue as we have been. An in house separation is the worst of all worlds. I will focus on the needs of my children and the needs of. Self to improve and become a better, healthier person. This is not a ploy by me to get her to change and see sense. Ok, I did react, but it was a reaction driven by what I have been thinking for a while.

On Thursday evening I had to watch
my beautiful, precious D5 covering her ears because mummy was raging at daddy again. This stops. I will give her comfort and stability, and if that is on my own, so be it.