Tx, I do hope you keep posting here. I think we can all learn from one another, despite our diff outcomes. Perhaps you can share more on what part of piecing worked and what what didn't? What is the timeline of your sitch?
I have read your posts before, but would like to see a link to your previous threads. I am curious what turned for you or if perhaps you didn't give it enough time? Your signature says you weathered the storm and were in love.
My FWH has been back for two years and it's incredibly difficult. I also feel that he has done all that one could hope for, but it doesn't make it easier to forgive him. It's going to take a lot more time and self exploration. Even if our M doesn't survive, I know I've got to look at my mistakes and make changes too.
I can't help but notice you still seem to have a lot of anger! On 25s thread you wrote that your FWW will always be tainted. You are telling us if she comes to DB to tell her not to bother. That's harsh and wreaks of anger. You know as well as anyone that DB is not to win back our spouse, but to improve ourselves. This might be a great place for her.
Quite simply, what have YOU done to work on your anger, your resentment, and forgiveness? That's all you can control anyhow, right? Because it reads that you want to punish her.
Look, if you don't want to be M anymore, especially after such a betrayal, I think we all agree that's respectable choice. But you are still so hurt and angry. Don't you owe it to yourself to let go of that now? I also think if you want a friendship with her, then you've got to respect her. She made a terrible mistake, but she is human, and we all make mistakes.
Please keep posting. I don't mean this as a 2*4, but i want to challenge your thinking. Heck, I could be saying the same thing at some point. I just hope I don't. I what to forgive H and understand this mess, not just for the M, but for ME.
Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
