Dealing with Devastation

[giftd]

So yesterday I texted her and said I'd like to come down to Mass to have lunch with her and bring some things she left the last time she was here. She replied with lunch won't work because she's busy with work (only one at the store currently) but I could meet her when she gets out. Then this morning she texts to say that she is going to be super busy and that it doesn't make sense to drive 3 hours for 10 minutes of time when she will be up Wednesday anyways and then she can see the animals.

I'm sure she is working stupid hours still, it's her falling into the same habits as before while denying to anyone who mentions it that it's the same. I've done my best to avoid any talk about work because she just gets defensive. Part of me did wonder if this was her thinking it through and wanting to maintain a boundary?

I had looked forward to the drive because it's a nice day and I've never been to that part of Mass, never driven through it either so it'd be a good chance to work on my anxiety and show her something she thinks I can't/won't do. I suppose I will just enjoy the day with some yard work and look forward to seeing her Wednesday, I didn't know she planned on coming up. I find myself frustrated with the fact that she hasn't changed anything with regards to her work/life balance, I've come to realize that if she can't change it, we can't be together. It's important to me and I won't compromise because I'm worthy of time with my wife.

There's no counseling this coming week as we decided I'm in a good enough place to not need it every week. Should be interesting to see how it goes as most of the sessions have been good for identifying things to work on and venting frustrations.