You guys aren't going to beleive this 3

[Sotto]

"Nothing good is going to come from this woman anytime in the near future. Time to start moving forward for real."

Change the gender and I can remember having this fundamental realisation in my own situation. When I sat back and looked at where XH was at and what choices he was making, I realised he had nothing good to offer me right now and that wasn't going to change any time soon.

I believe the same in your situation. Actually, if your SO had another hughe coffee shop meltdown and your heart melted and you decided to give things another go, my heart would sink as I would feel you were setting yourselves up for round four..

For the relationship dynamic to be different (either in that R or a new one) we need to change and grow. It is early days, but I do think you are getting on to the right path.

As for Zues, I think he is a good role model and it is inspiring to see someone a couple of years on. So, don't just hope to follow in his footsteps - follow in them!

And just a final word on GAL. Believe it or not, I would see myself more as an introvert than an extrovert. Whilst I enjoy company, it's definitely more of the smaller numbers and relaxed environment variety. Being in company for long periods leaves me tired and overstimulated. So, I didn't go for the Meetups variety. However, I would encourage you to think about some GAL where others are involved.

For me, it is more comfortable when it isn't a pure social environment. For example, my yoga class is friendly and amongst others, but you are focused on doing an activity. Same if you chose to learn Spanish, or play in a sports team, or volunteer in some capacity. Joining a divorce workshop was a really good thing for me as I met others and we did some true sharing, which created a bond. I know Caliguy in MLC forum has found this too...

So, maybe have a think about this avenue too?