W saw me typing on my phone, I was writing my previous post on this board.
She then quickly left the room and I could tell she was crying. She texted me from her room asking if I was already talking to someone else.
So... I walked into her room and told her no I'm not talking to anyone else and that her leaving was the last thing I wanted. She cried some more and said that I Broke her heart and she looks at me differently now. That the love is gone. I told her that 2 arguments in 10 months was not worth throwing our family away. You're telling her what to feel^^ and you are trying to argue your way into staying m. I don't think you should be telling her she's wrong to feel as she feels. Plus you raise the 2 arguments and for all you know, they were traumatic to her OR there are dozens of disputes she felt, that you are not aware of.
Bottom line is I don't think you can talk and argue your way out of a spouse leaving.
She replied that she doesn't trust us anymore. I told her I respected her decision to leave but I didn't agree with it. I apologized again for the part I played in this but told her I couldn't change the past. Not sure how long this^^ took, but after maybe a minute, you need to leave. You owned your part (I assume that's true) and you said you cannot change the past. That's it. Nothing else to say, plus the more you keep talking the more it's clear you do NOT respect her decision b/c you want to keep harping at it. Do what you say.
She told me she didn't trust love anymore and just wanted to be alone with her daughter. This is exactly what she said the last 2 times and I reminded her of it.
She said this time it's different. I said "you said that the last 2 times".
Thornton, why did you tell her it's the same thing she said last time? To me, that comes off as daring her to mean it this time, and I know that's not what you meant to do.
Do you see my point? -- it's like saying "W I've heard THAT before" or "Yeah well, you said it before but you obviously did not really mean it..."
Anyhow, please don't bother trying to correct it now. It'll only highlight the parts of this you need to ignore, b/c you want her threats to be hollow. Don't motivate her to make them true.
What was revealed in ^^THIS R talk, that she does not already know?
To me, you pushed her a bit into cementing, defending and repeating her choices, rather than letting her have the mental (and physical) space to ponder or examine them.
I probably ruined any chance of repairing our R by having that R talk Thornton, You think one conversation does all that? Come on, you know better...
but I needed to say something. Now she knows exactly how I feel. That's all I can do.
I hate this.
If you really believe she did not know how you feel before,
then I guess she knows now. And you do NOT have to repeat it.
Sometimes more words are not more "Weighty". There is power in the economy of words.
And the remarks that she "said that before" just makes her want to mean it more "this time."
Inadvertently you challenged her to defend the choices she is making. You SAY you "respect her choices, but..."
and then you keep at her about those choices. Back off.
Trust me, she's not indifferent.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
