25 yearsMLC 10 years late I FILE part 2

[leahsue]

Yes, I totally agree. Saying an affair is the worst that can happen, to me is like saying, "Thank the Lord, I'm getting married. Now I'll never be lonely again." HA. The loneliest times in my life have not been when I was alone, but laying right next to someone in the marital bed. But you can't know that until you've been there. I think a better way of phrasing it would be, "So far, in my personal experience, an affair has been the worst thing that has ever happened to me." As we both know, in any relationship, an affair can be the worst, until the next worst thing happens. Betrayal by a loved one can come in so many forms. And it's a personal decision which betrayals can be forgiven and worked through, and all decisions should be respected as just that, personal decisions. Just my 2 cents.
Recently, as I was describing the philosophy of DB to my married D31, she was very thoughtful for a minute, then said, "If Daddy had known about DB and had implemented some of those practices, do you think things would have turned out differently for the two of you?" After carefully thinking about it, I think possibly I may have returned to the marriage, but I truly believe he only wanted us to reconcile so that he could be the one to leave me, instead of his being left. So ultimately, I believe it would have ended. If not then, certainly when our son came out of the closet, we'd not have been able to work through that together, because we still don't agree about loving our son unconditionally. I guess you can imagine which side of that we each fall on. LOL. ExH would still enroll him in a facility to "change him back" if son were not a strong, capable, nurse practitioner who knows and is proud of who he is today, and will tell his dad in a NY minute where he can take his "facility". Just thinking out loud again.
I need to go for a run or a swim, or work in my garden, before I totally take over your thread. I truly don't know why this venting today, but it sure has lifted a burden off me that I didn't realize was there until I felt the lightness. Enjoy the rest of your weekend, safe in the knowledge that your H is a fool of the biggest variety, and you deserve the cream of the crop, so much more than he will ever be able to offer you without some serious metamorphosis.