25 yearsMLC 10 years late I FILE part 2

[180Man]

OR maybe they see his behavior more clearly than I have in the past...[/color]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

That sums it all up. They can see the contrast between their parents and what's going on between them without you having to say much. Complaining about their father is one thing. Being straight up with them and telling them facts is something else. If you pursue the latter, to whatever extent you feel comfortable, the kids can make their own conclusions -- clearly they already have. I understand you don't want them to turn against one parent or another, but it's not like this stuff won't come out eventually. So, tell them what you must, spare them what you can, and let the chips fall where they may.

I was looking through some of my Chinese literature and came across two different quotes by Te-Ch'ing (1546-1623) that made me think of you...and, honestly, all of us.

"When opponents are evenly matched and neither is superior, the winner is hard to determine. But whichever one is remorseful and compasionate will win. For the Way of Heaven is to love life and to help those who are compassionate to overcome their enemies."

"The ancients said that the word understanding was the door to all mysteries as well as the door to all misfortune. If you realize that you don't understand, you eliminate false understanding. This is the door to all mysteries. If you cling to understanding while trying to discover what you don't understand, you increase the obstacles to understanding. This is the door to all misfortune."


This second quote is his commentary on what Lao-Tzu wrote a millennia before him:

"To understand yet not understand
is transcendence
not to understand yet understand
is affliction
the reason sages aren't afflicted is because they treat affliction as affliction
hence they aren't afflicted"

Haha, okay I'll stop now. I'm probably waaaay overthinking this.