Infidelity/WAH, my story pt 9

[PsySara]

*waves weakly* Here I am friends, hearts been fixed.

Sky,
It looks like we were typing and posting roughly around the same time so I didn't realize you had posted such a long and considerate post. WH has been very attentive both before and after the procedure. They had to keep me overnight because it ran late. They attempted to go through my femoral vein and it was too tight so they went through my jugular instead. WH was very attentive and even tender before and after it. Frankly I just don't trust it. I let him do all the kid stuff because I am not allowed to lift things above 5 pounds.

My body and mind are exhausted, my heart is literally broken. WH is talking about some changes we should make to the new house and I am numb. My mind rolls between hope and then desire for this to just be over. I fantasize about what I want and need in a partner and then feel defeat because I never thought this man would do these things to me. Furthermore that he would feel not an ounce of desire to beg me for forgiveness. Forgive me my friends, this heart procedure has made me SUPER emotional and I find myself constantly fighting tears. I feel vulnerable and my mortality feels closer than ever before in my life. I am physically sore and am battling exhaustion. I will be back later when I am more myself. THank you for your thoughts and prayers, it definitely helped.