Am I Dreaming or Played a Fool?

[25yearsmlc]

Family came back from vacation last night. It was nice seeing my family, including my W. Missed them all.

W and I had R talk this morning, good conversation. She seems like she wants to try. My DB coach said for move slow and that ACTIONS are important not the words. IDK what actions I should be looking for. I guess they will jump out at me.

Does anyone have a good template for a NC letter? We talked about that being the first step. I just want to make sure it's good and effective.

TY!

If you want specifics, I'd ask a DB coach - they are specific, detailed in their advice and very helpful regardless of what path you choose. HER writing the NC is obviously mandatory since your text to OM failed even though he said "done" and blah blah blah.

Is your w seeking IC? Sorry if I missed that, but the heavy lifting is hers to do.


Imo, she needs real help if you think she's basically a good person, albeit one with a huge character flaw. (if you don't think she's basically a good but troubled person, but just has no integrity, then let us know). There is a personal growth workshop for individuals (helps them in all r's of course) in Philadelphia called "Essential Experience" that I thought was profoundly helpful. Like 2 years of therapy in one long weekend and made some real changes in my life. None of these things work without persistence, however. So it's not like one weekend 'fixes" everything but it can be the jumpstart for tremendous growth and change the trajectory of someone's life.

Later as a couple - if/when you get there, try a couples retreat like "Retrovaille" which is for couples in crisis, btw. You don't have to be Catholic to attend, I'm positive.

So I'd back off, focus on myself and my own GAL, DETACH, detach (and I don't know how to detach without GAL)

I'd assume for my own protection, that she won't do the needed work

but I'd hope for the best and see...

have you read the book yet?