Well..... tonight we are going to a good friends 50th birthday party and over the past week I have been thinking on how I want/should handle it with W. I was planning to try to have a nice evening with her with no R talks at all and I was really looking forward to it. Enjoy the evening together despite everything thats going on, right?
Its amazing what time does. I woke up this morning with a different attitude this morning. I felt like I didn't even want to go with her tonight. I'm still like why?
My emotions are really all over the place. I even burst out into tears writing my friends card. I never do that???? I know that it had nothing to do with my friend or his birthday and it was all to do with the crap that I'm living through right now. Now I really don't want to go with her.
I love her a lot but hate her a lot at the same time. Makes no sense!
