Help - Setting Boundaries, WW in EA - Thread #4

[Woke_Up]

Dealing with my W back then was like dealing with a petulant child. When she didn't get her way, it would get ugly. I had to learn how to effectively respond to her without adding fuel to the fire.

LITB

In these situations, what did you find worked for you?

Hey Woke,

I brought your question to me over from Wsh's thread.

Thanks, appreciated.

I found that boundaries and not arguing worked. She brought this up the other day while we were talking to a friend. She said that she wondered to herself when we were separated why I stopped arguing with her. When I did argue previously, it would just justify her choices and fuel her crazy train.

OK, I get that. Something I find difficult, due to the nature of the arguments where I am usually subjected to personal attacks.

My boundary was that I wouldn't converse with her if/when she was emotionally charged. Or respond from a calm place. It took practice. It took me journaling interactions to learn from, because I found when I wrote things down, I would remember more clearly.

So, if she was emotionally charged, or ranting, did you sit there and listen, but say nothing? How did you respond calmly - to the points she was making, or by telling her you wouldn't converse when she was like that?