Sorry I'm not so good at commenting on other's posts. I know that makes me come across as a bit self obsessed.
I do read a lot (particularly on this part of the forum), but can't think of much good, positive, constructive advice to give.
I thought I'd write about another one of the dates I went on at the very start of the year...just as a laugh.
So, got chatting to someone on line. He worked in a similar type of environment to me, so it was familiar to me, plus he looked very handsome.
Arranged to have a drink after I finished work one evening. Turned up, but he was really pretty late. I was at the getting hacked off stage by then. Oh well, give someone a chance, I thought. But no apology, no offer to buy me a drink as a way to say sorry...nothing. He came across as pretty disinterested in me. Like, if I'd been someone else, it wouldn't have made any difference at all to him. I felt pretty bored and was starting to wonder how little I could stay without seeming rude.
He went out for a smoke. Disappeared for ages...I mean, we're talking 20 minutes or more. I was left standing in a busy bar. Got chatted up by another guy during that time, which was quite funny.
Anyway, I decided just to leave at that point, sneak away, and asked the barman if there was another door apart from the front door I could go out. Explained the situation and had a bit of a laugh with him and the others behind the bar about it. No luck on the door front though, there was only the front door.
As I was trying to sneak out, he walked back in, and we practically walked into each other. That was quite funny. He convinced me to stay...there was a moment of genuine feeling there, so I did stay.
He rabbited on for another while. We had differing opinions about a lot of things, which I also found quite funny. But I found him hard and unreachable, locked in himself.
I said I was heading home, and he walked me 10 minutes along the road home. He kissed me and made it pretty clear he wanted me to invite him up to my house. I made it pretty clear that was never going to happen. It all felt pretty cold and empty, lacking in any sort of warmth or connection whatsoever, and I'm pretty sensitive to the vibe that's going on with other people.
He said he felt like he'd been teased. At which point I just walked off.
20 years ago I would have probably gone along with things, or felt really crushed if someone had 'rejected' me.
Now? It's more like, yeah, OK, on you go.
I got home, made myself a cup of tea, had a laugh to myself about the whole thing, and went to bed.
