So today I was feeling terrible. Mornings are the hardest, just waking up and she's not there I can't get back to sleep and I know I'm not getting enough.
Stayed at a new friends house and when I got home I went to put on netflix and saw she was using our account for the first time since she left. I had assumed she started her own account to just rush through separating our lives because she gets gung ho about some decisions she makes. my h is still on the family netflix account I pay for. I didn't want to look petty and take him off, and I didn't want our kids see that. So i would read nothing into it.
It's neutral.
This is something we would use everyday, we both use noise to sleep. I know I shouldn't look into things and have to detach but it gives me some hope.
you have to apply the principles here for them to help you.
Have you gotten the DB books and started to read them yet?
Also, just curious, are you from similar cultures?
Made me feel like maybe she's finally starting to calm down, stop being angry.
what are YOU doing for YOU? Not about getting her back, but about becoming the man you were meant to become?
To become a man only a fool would leave...?
Okay....you need another viewpoint here rather than just your fears and pain.
Here's a 2 x 4 that is meant to help you see HER perspective b/c she is not just going to "Stop being angry" and I don't think she needs to "calm down"....I think you need to step up to the plate and own your life and bring something to the table.
Her potential views... I think she's been the giver in this m, and it physical and emotionally drained her...
You use anxiety and depression as themes as to why you cannot hold a good job or finish school, or pick her up after LONG hours, or emotionally really be there for her
(and suicidal thoughts you expressed to her) but you are not seeing someone or on meds for that?
Oka this^^ is huge. That would make me so insecure as a wife. It would make me think twice about ever having children with you too...& that is a lot to give up.
What avenue was there for her life to improve? I mean, seems like she just worked harder and harder while you stalled out on her, repeatedly. I know you're not well but it sounds like that's not something you are up for changing either. See, arguably, if you are not going to get help for your problems, there's no way she can expect change in you. So, can you see why she'd think there's no real hope for a better m, in her eyes?
This ^^ is up to YOU to change. That's great news! See this as empowering b/c it is.
Believe it or not, the worst news in this ordeal is that you were a perfect h and yet, for no apparent reason, your spouse wants out. ^^^That would mean you are powerless to change things.
So when you know you have crap to own and thus, crap to change/work on,
it's a gift.
Maybe even remember some good things watching a show we used to.
I am 100% sure I shouldn't read into it but I'm going to and use this boost to hopefully take a nap.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
