Same Sitch. New Approach... Feeling Good (part 2)

[Chris73]

Hi All. Hard to believe it's only been 3 weeks since I've last posted. Feels like 3 years have gone by.

Long story short. My marriage is over. My W has convinced me over the past few weeks that she has some serious problems that she needs to work on. Being angry and resentful towards me and focusing all of her energy on leaving our marriage is just another distraction in a long list of distractions (including the affair that I *believe* she is still carrying on) that are keeping her from the mirror work that she needs to do.

Dropping the rope and doing everything I can to avoid being a source of her anger is the only thing left I can do to keep the peace. She wants me to move out, but I've been standing my ground which results in more and more spewing, name calling, and, teeth gritting. And I just can't take it anymore. It's been almost a year since the first BD and I'm starting to have trouble remembering a time when we were happy.

Her alternative to me moving out is that we sell the house and mediate for joint physical custody of the kids. All things considered, that's not the worst deal I've heard lately. But we're still negotiating and trying to be civil to each other under one roof.

For the first time since all this started, I really feel like I'm done. I don't like using the word *hate* but I hate who she's become even though I still love her very much. I really want her to get healthy and be happy again, but right now I don't know if I can ever see us back together.

My kids and trying to reach a fair divorce agreement without spending a fortune are my only two objectives now.

I'll expand on this later. I'm off to catch the train home.