As far as Meetup goes, I can't imagine that Colorado is very different from East Tennessee as far as outdoor activities (well, your mountains are slightly taller :)) except maybe your outdoor season is shorter. There are A LOT of hiking, etc Meetups in Knoxville. If you're further from a population center it gets harder (everything I'm doing has me driving 30-45 minutes each way because I'm so far out). If you put your interests in there, it will suggest groups for you.
I know you actually seem to ENJOY working out (crazy person! :)) and I've found pickup basketball, soccer, softball, etc, there as well. YMMV, but don't give up. I know you have the same problem I do with having built your life around W, and short of asking your friends to set you up on dates (which I know you don't want) this could be one of your bets bets. It took me two weeks to find something I felt comfortable going to with a group that looked like it was ok.
Giving up the fantasy [censored]. Realizing that your W not only isn't the woman you thought anymore, but maybe never was [censored]. Knocking them off the pedestal and saying "Do I REALLY want to try to fix this?" and coming up with "I don't know, at best" hurts pretty bad. But you're strong enough to do that, and you'll be stronger on the other side of it.
