Could you perhaps stop thinking of him as an abuser. That gives him power that he no longer has because your eyes are opened now. Do you thinking would help to view him as a lowly but annoying competitor or opponent that you have to defeat?
I've been thinking of the right thing to say you, V. I think Juju has said when I have been trying to express.
He is no longer your abuser. You are not his to abuse anymore. You are your own woman separate of him, not bound to him in any sort of way. He is being a real D*ck head and playing games to get what he wants, but he isn't your abuser.
That is no longer your dynamic, because you are separate of each other.
Think of it as you got to do what you've got to to get what is rightfully yours. He could go on and on and on and spew and twist things, but who cares?
Just do what you need to for the financials. But your life is YOUR life now. Not his to take control over.
