25yearsMLC - 10 years later I FILE D

[25yearsmlc]

180,

I hear you, I think. So to rephrase. I will prevent him harming me to the extent a human with our history and children, can.

I've minimized incoming stimuli as best I can. I blocked h's fb and I had never looked at his page once he left for Alaska.

I have referred him to our L's for every financial demand he has made, which is costly in the short run. He is a poor negotiator, with an all or nothing approach to it. He assumes I want it all -whereas he wants me to get pretty much the minimum allowed by law. (At least, so far. Maybe that will change so we can both get on with our lives)

The first court hearing h showed up, but I did not need to be there.

The temporary support hearing went my way and infuriated h.
He threatened to quit THE GREATEST JOB EVER, to avoid paying.
His L told us that. H never communicated about money sent or when, not even by text.

So I got a wage garnishment then, which also bothered him, and the next week he was posting on fb that he's in a relationship.

Were the events^^ Connected? Who knows?? Who cares?

At the moment I can chuckle at that. No one who is normal and happily in a real r, posts like that -ever.

The way I see h now, is the most valuable asset I have.

Yes we did have an amazing connection for a long time and his bff reminded me the other day that yes it was a beautiful thing to witness, it was real and that means a lot. I don't want to belabor the point but I it helps me to remember. It was not all a fraud, and I don't have to see every joy of our past with new pain now. I care about him as the father of my children & assume I always will.

But I see him as someone else now. An atheist for one. That's a big change for me to see and it hurt my "Soulmate" image of h. Anyway

Would public news of a pending marriage to OW bother me? Of course.

under the circumstances it's less gut wrenching. Why?

Because I work hard on cognitive self awareness, & I am wise enough to know that no healthy reflective person would date so fast, and marry the first person they date, and so quickly, and after a long long marriage.

It's so cliched and unaware, that I think i'm lucky to be out of target range. I felt lucky to not have to meet h's expectations today, for the first time. I just felt relief...not loss.

I know I'll back slide & miss something or feel overlooked and forgotten, but today I'm going to remember this feeling...of being better off

Really I'm just learning not to take his acts so personally. I want him out of my head and heart as soon as possible.

I started to see a therapist in my new area today, and I'm blessed to have had 2 excellent ones first in CA and now here.

Plus the cute guy flirting happened at such a perfect time.

Yes, it was a Lucky day folks

Today was a lucky day!