25yearsMLC - 10 years later I FILE D

[25yearsmlc]

Vanilla

I get your point about LBSers being happy and not caring about anything on the other's "side" of the equation.

We are all we control. (Sorry, I cannot say I hope he's happier with her, yet).

Plus I don't want our kids to think checking out emotionally is better than working things out and being honest and open about how we feel, even when it's hard.

But when I do let myself obsess fear/worry or think "OMG what if he IS happier??"

Well, On my healthier days, I say "25, the only thing you can do to 'up your score' is to control your side of this. Live Your life... b/c that lessens the piece of this that feels unfair."
I know that h has mistreated ME and that's what matters to ME.

There is nothing I can do If he miraculously becomes the man he once was or who I always hoped he'd be...for HER... (statistically not likely but hey, who knows??)

The issues I had to work on were mostly resolved decades ago.

So I struggle with knowing I was a better wife the past 10+ years, I forgave more than I expected ever to be able to

and I "turned the other cheek", only to be here again now. (Like my other cheek got slapped.)

Vanilla, that's when I remember that what matters is that I was a better wife and that's a GOOD THING ---

and h wasn't very good to me the past X time (I vary in my estimate) and that's over now. H cannot mistreat me anymore once this D is final.

And that's what matters most.

I'm getting there, I really am.