KGirl - new life, new stuff #2

[KGirl]

Welp, it's been awhile. A long while, actually! Since my divorce I've now been in three relationships ("relationships"? something that got physical and was more than just a few dates..) and in all three the other person has been the one to end it. Back after the first one my therapist had said "your XH and this one BF do not make a pattern" but now I'm starting to wonder, since I'm the common denominator in all of them. Or is it just that I kick/reject people out much earlier on (like after a first date) and once I'm in, I'm just committed enough to not end it. Or too scared to not end it? I did notice that with the latest guy, I definitely got into a "one down" sort of thing... and then couldn't believe when he decided to move to a different state and that I wasn't good enough for him to want to stay here, because I was d*mn sure I was better than anything he was offering!

Dating is discouraging, relationships are discouraging, I look online and no one is appealing... there are no guys at work... none of my friends know any single guys... I'm trying to be happy on my own but it's been a pretty flippin' rough road. I'm convinced I need to find a widower because then at least I'll meet someone who actually knows how to be in a relationship/is emotionally ready and available for one. It's hard to keep putting yourself out there and trusting someone, just for them to keep breaking your heart. And with this last guy, I REALLY put myself out there after being unsure of a few things (like.. he was allergic to cats.. and I have two cats), after friends and coworkers cajoled me to "take a chance" and "don't sabotage something that could be great! don't give up before you even started." Ha. I guess I just have to have faith that statistically speaking I will meet someone as long as I keep trying.