Maybe I was unclear. Sounds like you are trying to foster the relationship between MIL and D. Not MIL and W (if I implied that, Im sorry). Either way, it isnt your job. If MIL wants to be in D's life, then she (MIL) should be making the effort. And if not, then, at least it should be your W that is coordinating. I ask you again, lets say you get remarried to another woman, are you still going to be inviting MIL over to be with D? If not, where do you draw that line?
Originally Posted By: EastTN
With regard to "suspicion" W tells me MIL feels like she won't get to see D, and she's angry about the situation. I don't want to feed that. That does no one any good.
This seems like a stretch. And really, it doesnt seem like your issue. This sounds like it's between W and MIL. If MIL asks you to see D, thats one thing. But to me, you are placing yourself in the middle of something where you dont need to.
Originally Posted By: EastTN
With regard to "good enough" like I said, I'd been an ass. Being told she felt "not good enough" was possibly bait and I took it, but I was angry with myself for my behavior.
Yeah, you were an ass. So apologizing is fine.
What about all of this other stuff though? I told her she was always good enough, and that while I thought she'd refuse, she was welcoem to come to dinner as well. She politely declined, saying she didn't want to intrude. I repeated the offer, saying she wouldn't be intruding, and that we're in each other's life for the next 12 years minimum one way or another, and we had to figure something out. I offered to start now.
This doesnt sound like someone talking to a person that they 'just want to have a parenting relationship with'...
