It's me again

[JRuss]

Do you need to make it a hard and fast rule that, if this R doesn't work out, that you are done with all relationships for the next (minimum) nine years? I worry that that puts a lot of pressure on you, him and the R, and that unhealthy dynamics might develop. If I were in a R that, if it ended, would be my last opportunity for [insert all of the good things Rs can bring] a multi-year period, I'd probably start to push when I shouldn't, my partner would pull when I did that, and we'd be into some pretty unhealthy stuff pretty quickly.