The book explains how the answer to problems in M is not divorce. One thing I want you to notice in the book (which many people seem to miss) are the places that say the advice is for the M where both people are willing to work to save it. I think, (don't have my book with me right now) that the first place is at the very bottom page at the end of the ninth chapter. So for those who are skimming over chapters, they miss it. Once you get into the tenth chapter, it begins talking about affairs, etc. And, there is one place that MWD states if the spouse refuses to end their affair, file for a D.
The book speaks to a wide, or more general, audience. As Christy said, one size does not fit all. Bear in mind that the board is more specific and narrows down to the precise issue a board member is facing.
As a former wayward wife, I believe the book is much too soft for those M's with a wayward spouse. The book basically throws the waywards in with the "walk-aways". IMHO, there is such a need for how to DB a wayward spouse. We have some walk-away-wives on the forum, who are not wayward, and who would not need the same approach as a wayward wife, and vise-versa.
So, yes, you will hear some things you probably don't read in the book, but as for myself, I think I remain within the bounds of DB, which is to do what works. Don't go by your feelings, but by what works!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
