On Higher Ground

[roist]

yoYes those bellows would be a good invention. Haha. The flat empty version of H demonstrates that he is not well. Seeing that he isn't well must help support the situation.

It is good to be able to realise that he is acting better than previously. If you are like me over time we learned to be able to support much more than previously conceivable and simultaneously tightened up on what we tolerate. You are stronger and I am sure H realises he will not get away with anything and everything. Over time do not underestimate that influence on him. It is good that he has shown small improvement. Every step in the right direction counts.

Why assume that he lied? Regardless it is a pity you don't have backup in team HaWho. I hope you were able to shrug it off as easily as you say and not have his nonsense affect you. The ability to not let stuff affect you is a powerful aly.

Fish twice in the one day. I have to agree with H on this one. Ah no. Haha only joking you are right to not cater for his whims and bravo for not dwelling on it afterwards. That's the way to go.

I really feel for you about your son. It is something I ponder on at times. Your situation is not a perfect role model for how M and families should be. That is undeniable and it is sad. BUT I do not believe that you made a bad choice for your kids. If you kicked him out two years ago and divorced, I am sure they would have experienced worse turmoil. At this stage you have gained over two and a half years.Why do I say gained? Because if ye split now or in the future your sons are that much older and will handle it better. Plus they have seen that H is off. That will be beneficial when/if you ever sit them down to discuss why you stayed and what happened.

You are a good mother and you are right to ponder how this is affecting them. But your H is making progress and is spending some quality time with them. Mire than before. Albeit intermittent it is still improving regularly. There is hope that that will continue and H will grow back into a fuller father figure. That could happen with or without staying together but is surely healthier for your boys if H is at home.

Another advantage is that your kids have you all the time and vice versa.I know at times a break would be nice but still!

Lastly I would say that often people look at their parents M and determine the good aspects they will want to have in their own M. They also see aspects that will mark them enough to be categoric that they will avoid it in their own M. Your situation does not necessarily mean that your boys will be scarred by it. Maybe it will motivate them to have better Rs.

Regardless you have not wronged you or your sons by your choice. When they are older they will understand and admire you for your strength.