I'm not fully caught up on your sitch, but I really empathize with the way your trying to make sense of it and in a way make something logical out of something that is not.
Regarding success rates, I don't believe there are many success stories here on the boards. Sadly when there seems to be one, years later it seems that the wayward spouse only does it again.
But here's the thing. Many of the LBS come on here blaming themselves for everything. They have been vilified and often gaslighted by the walkaways and come on here believing it. They later find that their walkways are really projecting some pretty dysfunctional behaviors...affairs, debt, addictions, etc. And have you read the stories on these boards? We are reading stories that truly belong on jerry springer. Some of the most heart breaking and cruel ways of treating people let alone the parents of your kids. Lots of abusive behaviors and no excuse for it
I think the lack of success rate is not necessarily due to the LBS not implicating the correct techniques. I think that for whatever reason most WAS on here are disloyal and lack commitment.
Marriage is hard and there are always universal issues between the sexes. Bit committed people stick it out and work on it. Non committed people dont.
So go easy on yourself. None of us are perfect and to go into a marriage thinking our partners will be and if not we get to leave and break our vows no?
