Dealing with my W back then was like dealing with a petulant child. When she didn't get her way, it would get ugly. I had to learn how to effectively respond to her without adding fuel to the fire.
Oh man. I believe that was my biggest mistake in trying to reconcile early on. Anger is the fuel that has allowed my wife to be able to do what she has done. And post-BD wife has been an anger vacuum and generator. And when she started on her tirades, my trying to defend myself and argue with her did nothing but send her into a firestorm, and then the wall got 10 feet thicker each time, and she became 10 miles more distant. I should have handled it differently.
Originally Posted By: LITB
The first time we reconciled, she did turn back into her normal self. That wasn't a good thing, because she hadn't worked on herself and her old selfish behaviors remained.
And the second time? Did the "alien" leave? Was your wife back for the most part, with improvements? Was she her loving self again? Surely she must have been, for it to work, but I'm just asking.
M: 33, W: 30 @BD M 7, T 10 BD: Early Dec W left: Late Dec W got stuff: Late Jan W sent S papers: Mid Feb OM cnfrmd: Late Feb
Pain can yield tremendous growth OR everlasting sadness and bitterness.
