Separated In Process of Divorce (Anniversary)

[25yearsmlc]

Another thing guys and gals...If a miracle happened and say for instance a year down the road after divorce is final and we are living our separate lives, etc... and then...she comes around and wants to get back together and get remarried, etc... What is the game-plan at that point? Tell her no, yes, wait it out, etc... Long shot this would ever happen but... Additionally, how would I ever forgive/forget what she is currently doing? Has anyone ever been through this? Good/bad stories?

Estimates are from 7- 15% of marriages are people remarrying their exes. I have 2 in my family.

You met your w when she was very young and she became a very young, out of wedlock mother. You both had a lot of responsibility from an early age and some of your life experiences have produced behaviors that seem, for lack of a better term, immature. And that's fixable.

When you get some better life and relationship skills - you'll be better prepared for what comes. So that's a task for you.

You want predictability and certainty where there is none. (Even if you remained married now, we could not give that certainty to you.)

But You control the amount and type of growth YOU experience. That is within your control.

if both of you do this, ^^ (& you won't know whether she is or does or will), then you can assess then. There will be much 2 way forgiveness work to do.

At some point you two will need to stop assigning blame about the past, and work on raising your son, going "from this day forward."

Questions about what the game plan would be IF & WHEN ^^ you both grow and want to recommit if that happens,

overlook the amount of work and time it would take to connect deeply & authentically.
It's work. Most really good things in life are hard, but often, pretty simple.

And all good things in life come with no guarantees.

Asking us now what YOU and she will become like in the future & how you will interact with each other, is not productive. It keeps you stuck.

I think your real question is, "is there hope?" And my answer, fwiw, is yes.

So, back to YOU...