There has been a confirmed PA correct? Has she agreed to transparency? Have you considered a no contact letter? Has there been a discussion regarding MC?
This is where boundaries come in to play.
LH19, honestly I don't know about a PA. There MAY have been a PA, but if there was, then I believe it was only a 1 or 2 night deal at the very most. Not downplaying that at all, as it's crushing to me. She of course says there wasn't, that they only went on a motorcycle ride so she could clear her head. Since then I don't believe they have seen each other. She claimed on that day all ties were severed with the OM and I have no evidence of anything since. Additionally, nearly all of her time has been accounted for.
She did agree to transparency, and she has done 10x better at letting me know where she is going and what she is doing.
I have not asked her to send him a no contact letter and I suppose much of this is due to my own darn fear of irritating her further and pushing her away.
WE have not gone to MC this time. We did a couple of years ago but only for 5-10 sessions and then dropped it when things got better. However, I MYSELF have been going to see our counselor but my wife has declined to go saying she doesn't want to go to counseling the rest of our lives.
