Separated In Process of Divorce (Anniversary)

[25yearsmlc]

Also, should I give my wedding ring back to her? If so, how/when?

stop trying to control the outcome with gestures like these. It's a hollow act and your goal of getting a reaction out of her is transparent.

The resolution of your marital situation is not coming soon.


How do you feel about your conflict resolution skills? I don't mean "confrontation management", but how you actually work out something with someone who feels differently than you do, about something that matters? My guess is that you both need to hone your skills there b/c there are still issues that are unresolved. The way you two married, (barely??) sounds poorly grounded.

So there are some basics you can work on in yourself, regardless of what your w does.

I feel as if you are very reactive and so is your w. Do you think you drink too much? I have to say if I had a NYE like you two did, I'd probably never taste another drop.

Though I mention your w (^^) and her reactivity, she's not here seeking advice. You are. So nothing we say about what SHE should do or benefit from, is very relevant.

What YOU can do or benefit from, is.

I hope you'll see an IC and I do not say that as an insult. I am. I did, I will again.

Getting IC Is not a bad sign, it's the opposite. Most of us need tools for handling these issues and it's clear that you lacked them. (Or there would not be so many unresolved matters and long held resentments)

My main regret in my situation is about how we pieced, once we reconciled, H's mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer so we put tings on hold, but ultimately my h never did seek out counseling for his own crap. (And so here we are).

Hang in there, I don't think your story is over. But you need some professional help and there is no shame in that. You'll be better equipped for whatever happens & you'll be a stronger father.


Hope your son is shielded from as much of this as possible.