LITB, did your wife become a very different person when she was wayward, like almost unrecognizable to you, as far as her personality? And did she mostly turn back into her normal or old self after reconciliation?
Dealing with my W back then was like dealing with a petulant child. When she didn't get her way, it would get ugly. I had to learn how to effectively respond to her without adding fuel to the fire.
The first time we reconciled, she did turn back into her normal self. That wasn't a good thing, because she hadn't worked on herself and her old selfish behaviors remained.
Like I said, so many other factors play a role in why people do the things they do. My W had a rough childhood. Did it play a role? Who knows?
I found myself spending too much time wondering "why". It wasn't productive and no answer would ever suffice. It took me letting go and moving on with my life, because life awaits no one.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
