Thank you Tryin2...exactly what I need to know. I've been slowly working on this and trying not to be at her beck-and-call whenever she texts or emails me. Typical uphill battle though.
When I successfully put some distance between us, then I find her responding by showing more interest in me and what I'm doing. We still live together, mostly co-parent together (but I'm doing more than just my share), still spend time together, etc. so detachment isn't as easy as couples that may be separated.
I do still find that detaching comes with it's own set of challenges though as I still value our friendly chats and catching up. When I detach I miss those things and have a hard time dealing with that as well.
Damned if you do, damned if you don't seems to be par for the course.
Originally Posted By: Tryin2figuritout
FWIW Derek,
Detachment for me is important to stay sane in the midst of all this. It's part of GAL and enjoying your time for you. If I'm not detached, I'm making myself vulnerable to the waves and have a hard time dealing with that.
Each and every person has their own unique set of circumstances, players, etc. You've got to do what works for you or not. You mention above about failing miserably at boundaries, well detachment can help with that. Detachment helps level the roller coaster of emotions as you minimize making yourself vulnerable.
