One of the biggest challenges I'm seeing right now as I'm well into the DB book is that nearly all of the advice I am getting on here seems to contradict what I am reading in the book but maybe I'm just not far enough in.
Example, I have read nothing in the book that says I should be detaching. Everything so far is how to communicate better and show how I am doing the things to be a better man and husband. Detaching doesn't seem to be part of that so far. I almost feel like I need a flowchart to direct me on what I should or should not be doing at this point. I'll keep reading though.
DerekM,
I went through the same thing. Advice on the forum seemed to contradict advice given in the book as well as the advice given by the DB coaches. I was all over the place.
It wasn't until my wife and I physically separated that I started to make sense of everything I'd read and heard. Being physically separated gave me some distance and objectivity. I realized my wife was pushing me away, and I had been trying to hang on.
Once I had a little more clarity, I understood that I couldn't pursue my wife anymore and that I was responsible for moving my life forward in the best way possible. I was actually a happy camper except that I didn't have my sons around as much as I would've liked. I also acquired an itch that I have been able to scratch just yet; I wanted to beat the OM's @ss. But, overall, life was good. So, doodler's three steps to bliss are 1. let go, 2. be a great dad, and 3. GAL like a wildman.
