Well it's obvious that I'm failing miserably at boundaries and what I THINK I should be doing. It's very frustrating that when I try to put some of the advice in action, that I just end up making things worse for myself. I've decided that I'm just not ready for that step yet and have pulled back a bit to re-evaluate how I am proceeding.
From her most recent actions, I truly do NOT believe there is actually any type of affair going on. If it was before, it was short lived. I'm not necessarily trusting her words, but more of what I am seeing and her actions. I know that I have to be very cautious in what I believe though. I think some of our talks (few and far between) have gotten her to realize what her actions had been leading to me believe (that an affair was going on) and she is definitely much more communicative with where she is going and what she is doing. Is she just trying to cover up better...maybe but I don't think so. I know I will catch a bunch of crap for this but I'm just giving you my honest viewpoint.
I'm still riding the roller coaster of (my) emotions and changes in her mood. We do communicate throughout the day and at home and overall our interactions have been very pleasant, no arguments or anything like that. She DOES still continue to look for reasons to blame me for stuff that doesn't go her way (acting a bit like a child) but I'm not taking the bait and just distance myself from her and her words. She will NOT make me the enemy. She actually asked last night if we should go shopping together...not just by herself which is very unusual as of late. She has also been going out of her way to help serve me dinner...again very uncharacteristic for her. So confused on whether I'm being played a bit or if she truly is looking to change.
One of the biggest challenges I'm seeing right now as I'm well into the DB book is that nearly all of the advice I am getting on here seems to contradict what I am reading in the book but maybe I'm just not far enough in.
Example, I have read nothing in the book that says I should be detaching. Everything so far is how to communicate better and show how I am doing the things to be a better man and husband. Detaching doesn't seem to be part of that so far. I almost feel like I need a flowchart to direct me on what I should or should not be doing at this point. I'll keep reading though.
Anyhow, I just wanted to provide an update on my story. Thanks for hanging in there with me folks.
