25yearsMLC - 10 years later I FILE D

[25yearsmlc]

Tex

I hope you'll take in Sandi's post and reflect on it.

I DO get what you mean, obviously. If h were to magically become the man I thought he was and became a mature fully authentic man

it would still take real work for me to see him fully, and through God's eyes. That would be my goal I suppose. Assuming the above work by h, I think I could see him as worthy of loving and as a flawed man.

But not the man I thought he was, for sure. H has surprised/disappointed me a lot this past decade...and there must be a reason our children tell me that they are "proud" of me for filing.

Think about that...ugh.

Maybe your goal could be to see your w as a flawed, deeply worthy woman. And to see yourself the same way, b/c owning your role in her A is a challenge.

Sometimes I think the biggest piece of the LBSers work when there are OPs

is to accept that although the A was wrong, the LBSer played a role in the spouses choice.

While it is possible for a solid marriage to suddenly, spontaneously have a wayward spouse due to issues only within one partner, it's darn rare.

And if it was an issue in her only, AND if she is working on resolution of that issue,

then what?