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Ginger1 #2739154 04/16/17 05:37 PM
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So, it turns out he isn't ready for that. He told me it will happen when its time.

I'm sitting on that.

I think a part of me is regretting getting D9 so deeply involved when he isn't even ready for me to spend time with his family.

But that's on me. That was my choice and I have to deal with it.

Ginger1 #2739184 04/17/17 05:06 AM
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I am journaling here so as to not say anything more to him.

I am mad at myself and kind of angry at him. I may not have the right to be, but I am. It's my own issue, I am dealing with the same thing I do with every guy "Ginger is good enough for this, but not for that" I know it is so new. But he acts like it isn't on some levels, but when it comes to meeting his parents apparently it is too new. I know his sister, I hear about his parents all the time, they allowed me to vacation in their home and I haven't even been able to thank them. He spends time with my D9. But I am not good enough to spend a few hours on a holiday with them. Fine. Anyways, FF and I did talk on the phone before bed. We didn't talk about it. I am just going time for my feelings to pass. It's partly my own issue. But now I have a better idea where I stand. he did text me this morning and we were normal. He is working today at the FH. Now that I let that out..... I am trying my hardest not to let it affect me. I have decided that I am going ot have to tell my dad we are going to hold off on that meeting. FF is willing to meet them, atleast I think, but if he isn't ready to introduce me to his parents, I don't want him meeting mine. We have to wait until we are both ready.

I am also angry with the ex. He and his wife get D9 concert tickets without telling me and present them to her on easter. I am against this on a few levels. #1- since when did easter become the new Christmas? Not for nothing, by my daughter is a spoiled brat. She's getting worse too. Now the kid thinks she is entitled to concert tickets in her freakin easter basket?! I got her chocolate, a magazine, lip gloss and spray on hair color.

Oh, and it's a night before they leave for vacation which was supposed to be my night. But he proceeds to tell me (after I confront him about the tickets, because it was D( who texted me to tell me about them yesterday) I can have her on my unscheduled night before vacation. Oh gee, thanks. He tells me he bought them for no reason (just what this kid needs, concert tickets for no reason) so he decide Easter was a good time. It's not until August, so how about he uses some smart parenting and waits until she earns them?! My efforts to un spoil her and untitle her have been rough lately, and this does not help.

Yes, I am one p*ssed off person right now. I want to smack Disney Dad.

Boy am I cranky. Fighting with my friend is helping. Just a bad few days and I guess this too shall pass.

Ginger1 #2739189 04/17/17 05:36 AM
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Ginger

My thoughts are there is plenty of time. This phase of R can be a lovely phase if you let it. Detaching, having no regard for the outcome will help as it does often in R. He is not ready, he told you, believe him and still be you. He knows his parents, may be they are not ready, may be they are x or y or zoom, maybe this, maybe that. I guess, you have to trust his judgement on it.

Disney dad! What nonsense, random expensive gifts. Did he buy only one ticket? I am bemused.

V


Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW


Ginger1 #2739190 04/17/17 05:41 AM
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I dunno G...

I think that you are working on a relationship here...

The good is, that when you asked, he was honest and forthcoming about feelings, and he needs.

The same as you were by asking...

Sounds like communication to me..




Were you hurt more by YOUR trigger about the holiday ??

Or more by, that he wasn't ready YET...???


Guys have feelings about these things, we don't always express them well....

But have a little Faith in what you are trying to build with him..

Maybe it's more about his Family, than it is you ??


If he is worth it, find a way to work through it...

Mach1 #2739191 04/17/17 05:47 AM
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^^^^ that is for yesterdays post.

You had a whole world of other crap whilst I was typing....

I'm up to about 3.5 words a minute now...

Mach1 #2739192 04/17/17 05:48 AM
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Hi Ginger!

Sometimes I read posts and responses and realize that I'm far less eloquent than most, but I think it is a really good thing that you told him how you felt and he was honest with his feelings, as in not being ready YET to introduce you to his parents. I'm sorry you were hurt and hope a little time helps to heal that for you.

Hang in there and just have faith. Things seem to be headed in a good direction, but you know, as with any relationship, there will be bumps in the road. Positive thoughts headed your way, lady. Hope you feel better soon.


Me 52, H53
Bomb drop 9/29/2014
Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014
Marriage #2 12/31/2019
5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships)
6 grandkids
Dawn70 #2739222 04/17/17 09:40 AM
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Thanks everyone,

I found out this goes deeper but I am not ready to get into it.

I will tell you this much. I am going to try to have faith that maybe this is going to work out if it's meant to. Time and mutual dedication will tell that.

Not for the faint of heart, this dating after divorce thing. I will tell you, if this doesn't work out I am remaining single until D9 is out of the house. Another 9 years I am sure I can handle.

Ginger1 #2739231 04/17/17 10:34 AM
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Hey G,I can understand your feelings. On one level things were flying real fast and he was all over you...and then suddenly on this occasion he's not. Holidays are indeed hard times and it's not easy to sit alone on Easter while FF if off with his family leaving you alone. Glad you were able to say how you felt and he was able to be honest about his feelings too. It's a bump in the road...but hopefully, that's all smile


Divorced February 27, 2012.

"Only by love is love awakened".~ Ellen G White
whatisis #2739237 04/17/17 12:10 PM
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Originally Posted By: whatisis
Hey G,I can understand your feelings. On one level things were flying real fast and he was all over you...and then suddenly on this occasion he's not. Holidays are indeed hard times and it's not easy to sit alone on Easter while FF if off with his family leaving you alone. Glad you were able to say how you felt and he was able to be honest about his feelings too. It's a bump in the road...but hopefully, that's all smile


You nailed exactly how I felt about yesterday and why I felt it. There are new revelations that I will discuss later.

We are in the middle of our first fight currently.

I still have old R patterns. I feel as if I am justified in my feelings or I have the right to be upset about something, I am told that I pretty much don't, then I go an agree and apologize.

Pretty much summed up how I handled my M. It's a scary thing when you don't know if you are over reacting or you are justified anymore.

Hopefully this is a bump in the road and we both handle it.

Ginger1 #2739243 04/17/17 12:35 PM
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hey, I'm with you G...I always try to be open to the other side of the situation and easily fall into the "you're right and I'm wrong" syndrome. You have every right to feel what you feel and to express it...your feeling is NOT wrong! What you do with it may be a different story but your needs are just as important as his. I never have these issues with my turtle lol.


Divorced February 27, 2012.

"Only by love is love awakened".~ Ellen G White
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