Flotsam

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First, keeping him home does not impact his day one bit. It changes absolutely nothing for him. I don't understand why he wanted to argue with me about this? Why pick a fight about this? I am at a loss for understanding. He was hostile and a little aggressive in his tone. I felt like I was being attacked and severely criticized for my decision.

Second, it saddens be a great deal that this is the type of parent he is being. Rather than allow S to stay home and get some rest, he would rather him go to daycare? I cried on the way to work thinking this is how H will likely parent S when I am not around. S will get sent to daycare or school because it is more convenient for H. This breaks my heart. It absolutely brings me to tears every time I think about this.

I am trying to be strong. I am trying to pray to God for more patient and understanding and compassion. I am trying to understand what exactly is the lesson I am suppose to be learning in all of this? What is it? Should I be detaching from S too? Is this something God would be telling me I need to do or is it something else?

[color:#993399]FightOn ....slow down. You went from a question posed from your H to a whole imagined future of doom for your child that had you in tears and questioning whether or not you should detach from your own, young son. Whew! That escalated quickly!

So, step back. Take a breath. You have a sick child. You made a decision to keep him home, made arrangements to have him cared for,
and your reasons are not only valid, but keeping him home for those reasons is encouraged by most schools and daycares (and work sites!). Ask yourself this: If it doesn't affect your H, why is his question affecting you, no matter what tone he uses? It is ok to stand by your logical decision and simply answer his question, nicely. Assume nothing about his intent or motives for asking. Many people (adults) believe you s*ck it up and tough it out...and think even small children should. You may have felt he was picking a fight, but that's an assumption. And assumptions are mind reading...and who can do that? Really, even if you know what he's thinking, does it affect your decision? Probably not.

A question is just a question and requires nothing more than an answer. Nothing more, nothing less. Our emotions about what's going on with our H do not need to come into play and effect our reply. Just the facts, ma'am.

As to assumptions about parenting when you're not around...your child will be fine, although maybe uncomfortable at times. If he's sent to school sick, most likely there will be a call or comment from the daycare about the appropriateness of this. It might even be a topic you bring up with XH or even the daycare as to a protcol...in the future. But that future hasn't happened yet, and you've made a decision for today. Be strong and simply stand, calmly, and answer the question...and leave it behind.

Pray to God for strength and patience...but as to what lesson you're supposed to learn from all of this? Maybe its just those two things I just suggested you pray for. It seems to be a recurring theme on these boards; praying for those two things is usually granted by becoming the lesson learned. It will get better.