Yet another update, so quickly after the last one, lol.
I have some things I need to get off my chest.
S woke up this morning with a terrible, deep cough. He has had a few days now, but this morning it sounded worse. I immediately called my parents and ask if they could watch him instead of taking him to daycare. I felt like he needed rest, which he won't get at daycare. At least at home I know he will be more apt to nap and nap longer without other children and activities around to tempt him.
As I was changing his diaper I was on the phone with my parents and H walks in. When I tell him my thoughts and what my plan was he balks. (By the way, my plans to keep him home do not effect him in any way. I am the one who drops S off and pick him up from daycare.) H then asks me, if I plan on keeping him home from school all week because it is unlikely that his cough will suddenly be gone by the end of today. In my head I was taken aback by this attitude.
First, keeping him home does not impact his day one bit. It changes absolutely nothing for him. I don't understand why he wanted to argue with me about this? Why pick a fight about this? I am at a loss for understanding. He was hostile and a little aggressive in his tone. I felt like I was being attacked and severely criticized for my decision.
Second, it saddens be a great deal that this is the type of parent he is being. Rather than allow S to stay home and get some rest, he would rather him go to daycare? I cried on the way to work thinking this is how H will likely parent S when I am not around. S will get sent to daycare or school because it is more convenient for H. This breaks my heart. It absolutely brings me to tears every time I think about this.
I am trying to be strong. I am trying to pray to God for more patient and understanding and compassion. I am trying to understand what exactly is the lesson I am suppose to be learning in all of this? What is it? Should I be detaching from S too? Is this something God would be telling me I need to do or is it something else?
