Yes, its amazing how lost some of us get in our marriages. I was soooo co-dependent! It happened so slowly, over so many years. First its just the two of you, completely absorbed in each other. When kids are introduced, much of your life revolves around them. I just forgot to make time for me...and then I forgot who I was. Saturday, I really remembered. It was overwhelming, almost. But in a good way!
I spent Easter alone. D26 is out of the country and D24 went to boyfriend's family. I started to have a bit of a pity party remembering the fun of Easters past...church, XH and I hiding eggs for the D's even when they were adults, making extravagant brunches, putting together fun baskets to surprise them, then lovely dinners. Then I remembered what a great evening I had. Bttrfly's gratitudes came to mind. Also, that I shouldn't live in the past...its full of nice memories, but that's all they are. Things that shaped me...and them. Like steps as you're climbing up. You can look back at them as you move up, but they serve no purpose on the rest of your climb, except to maybe build muscle and give you an idea of how to tackle the next set coming up.
I was thankful for a day of rest and reflection. I used it as a painting day and binge-watched a series that D24's boyfriend recommended, 13 Reasons Why. It was hard to watch, but good. I had to take multiple walks with my pup to break it up. I recommend it to everyone, especially parents. No...everyone. But it is HARD to watch.
I breifly considered calling XH to wish him a Happpy Easter. I didn't. I can think of reasons to do it, but every reason was self serving when I broke them down. He is not asking for my attention, right now. So, I'm NC unless he chooses. And I'm still working on finding me again.
M-51 H-54 2D-27 and 25 M-26 yrs Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15 He moved out 10-3-15 D filed 1-27-16 D final 10-27-16
