Am I in withdrawal ... will he ever wake up

[Lana_71]

Thank you 25yearsmlc for your comment I agree it has been 3 years he doesnot want to be a husband or a father. Here is a copy of his last msg when I sent him a msg releasing him from commitment towards me and hoping he still wants to be in his kids life. "

"This is a long one.. there are many things in this which we (you and I) need to work on. I am not ignoring anyone.... I miss my kids and life we once have a lot. I miss the way things were.... and I also recognize how I screwed them up. However, I want to meet and have us talk them out. I want to be a father and hopefully and better husband.l but I got tangled up in the whole money thing badly that I am trying to find the way out of it. And I will very soon"

"In the meanwhile, I do want to meet and talk.... I am arranging the visa and also in the coming week by Monday should be able to see where I will be on a weekend. I cannot stress more that I how much I want to talk about us"

"And I only can appreciate your efforts in the kids and what have you done so far for everyone"

After this I received nothing for a month , then he sent the kids one msg ...how is it going?

One of the things that always pushed my buttons was committing to a date such as Monday and never bringing it up later. Not even apologizing ... I always thought it is a passive aggressive trait and we always had argument on don't give dates a commitment if you don't want to deliver and apologize if you donot.

Anyway I don't know his circumstances but for my own sake it is better to believe he is trying rather than doesnot care. I know this would not solve the issue but as peacetiday said I have to wait and see.

I will not be gaining anything with divorce except the freedom to date which I don't feel yet . Hence I say patience is better than taking a decision to Divorce.

Now I am travelling out soon. He didnot ask me anything about them or details of my flight thinking we might meet . Don't know if I should completely go dark or send him a msg of me traveling on the day and kids are with my mom. About two months ago I did send him a rough idea of my plan but he never asked.

Thanks 25years and peace today for visiting my thread. I am not afraid of Divorce no more , nor I am afraid to live as start again. I might be sad for what could have been but nothing more. I know I will be fine and I know that at the moment he is not yet husband nor father material and I will not settle for crumbs maybe earlier in the journey but not any more.