I'm not familiar with your story but it sounds like you got some feedback that you didn't want to hear. I'd start there. Take the things that were said to you to heart and dig deep to see if any of that is true. We are as much to blame for our M problems as our WA Spouse. No doubt you have your own stuff to fix. Focus on that. Your H is going to have to be willing to do the same if this is to work.
Dont date if you are wanting to save your M. Go out an be social but don't get involved. Have you told your H that you don't want a D?
Me: 48 y/o W: 47 y/o Together: > 20 yrs BD: Dec '15, then S 2nd BD: Mar '16, then I filed for D April '16: started piecing
